How to Make Friends?

Some persons complain that the hand of friendship is somehow never extended towards them. They are curious to find the reasons for this. The best way to find out the cause is to ask yourself about what sort of persons you get drawn to. Normally it is natural for us to be favorably inclined towards a person who;

• Listen attentively to us and gives us full opportunity to speak.

• No matter what opinion he/she holds, he does not impose his views forcefully upon us.

 

 

• Has a good sense of humor, and does not make us the target of his jokes.

• Is not constantly engaged in trying to improve us.

If we are keen to become friends with a person with the above qualities, then to draw him/her towards us, we too need to develop similar qualities so that new contacts can be established.

Some persons break a friendship due to misunderstanding. They are not brave enough to talk openly to remove misunderstandings that may have arisen. Usually misunderstandings would arise by third person. They perform two kinds of acts on such occasions;

• Within their heart of hearts they keep fuelling the misunderstanding.

• They convey their grievance to the friend through a third person. In other words, it can be said that they begin to tell tales about their friend.

Both these acts are sure to weaken the friendship. Whenever such an occasion arises, having a frank discussion helps remove the distance that may have developed. When choosing a friend it is advisable to compare your friend’s status with your own. If your friend is more preoccupied than you or is so rich that he keeps spending on you more than what you can afford to, it shows you have made a mistake in choosing your friend. This however does not mean that the friendship with him/her should be broken. You can be in touch with him.

How Does Friendship Break?

In the end, instead of learning how to maintain a friendhip, it would be more advisable to find out why a friendship breaks. Herewith are 20 proven ways that can break a friendship.

A friendship breaks when you;

• Continue to speak without listening to the other.

• Constantly stay close to the friend.

• Either pay too frequent visits or seldom meet him/her.

• Meet for the sake of a selfish motive.

• Consistently borrow or lend money.

• Interfere in the personal affairs of the friend.

• Are unable to understand the friend’s feelings.

• Talk too much or else maintain unusual silence.

• Exploit friendship to one’s advantage.

• Enter into a relationship with a person of unequal status without taking into consideration the equality in wealth or status.

• Always indulge in flattery.

• Perpetually criticize.

• Stay engrossed in self-praise.

• Ignore the friend.

• Impose your views on religious or political issues.

• Constantly narrate tales of your woes.

• Become too close or else too distant.

• Foster a misunderstanding in your heart of hearts despite trying to remove it.

• Convey your grievance not through your own mouth but through somebody else.

• Harbour high hopes from your friend.

Control over a mere five suggestions from the 20 given above can reduce the flavours of the friendship. On adopting ten of them, friends get drawn apart and on adopting more than ten suggestions, in no time the “friends” are scattered far apart and the friendship is as good as over.

Scrutinise and analyse yourself. Try to see to what extent you are able to apply these suggestions. If you make use of them liberally and, despite it, your friends have not left your side, then search for the reason your friends have not abandoned you by now.